Thursday, December 4, 2008

December Weather.

Its December now. I haven't written in this journal since before Halloween. Which is kindof funny seeing as I've actually WRITTEN some story outlines and stuff like that, but I havent been able to find the time to write here.

Hell, I haven't been able to find the time to do just about anything.

I work. All the time. Not even a lot of hours anymore really, just...everyday. And I'm in near constant pain while doing so. My ankle is debilitating at this point and it gets worse with each passing day. I suppose I need to go see a doctor about that in the near future, but I keep putting it off because I haven't had a single week-day off since probably September.

Everything is a bit of a blur now. Life is moving so quickly, the days are just flowing away, and there is never enough time to do anything, get anything accomplished, or do anything but work. Its about to be Christmas, and I havent bought anyone anything yet, I suppose thats okay because I've got 20 some odd days to get that accomplished, but, still. December used to feel so long, waiting and enjoying every day, moving towards Christmas, and now it just feels like Christmas is going to be just another day, albeit one I probably won't have to work.

Growing up kindof sucks. Hard.

I'm going to start looking for apartments and I intend to get one in early March, I think.

Thats going to be interesting. Bills.


Lately I've been feeling a little down. Well occasionally...VERY down. I just kindof feel like I'm squandering my supposed gifts by not doing a damned thing with them. I also feel the societal pressure to go back to school even though I don't honestly have a drop of desire to do so. I'd love to learn a bit more, but I really don't want to spend all my money going to school and then have a degree in something that I don't really love. I suppose I could do both by going to school for art, but those are the kindof degrees that are completely and utterly useless in the real world, but if you want to own a comic shop and do graphic design, I suppose those are the kindof degrees you'd need. Perhaps a rudimentary business degree? I just feel like I've let myself, and everyone around me down by not going to school. When I tell people I'm working, they just usually make "Ah" noises and then trail off and ask when I'm going to go to school. I don't know.

I just don't know what I want to do right now. Grumble.

I'm going to totter off and read some comic books, as I always do when I intend to write about my feelings or state of being.

Next time you see me, give me a big hug, eh?

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The State of the Nathan Address.

Work, is hard. I've begun to work a full time, and then some, schedule. I have thus far worked over 40 hours every week since we've opened. We're at week 4. The work is usually stressful, but good co-workers and wonderful, caring managers makes it a pleasure. Over the next month, they're going to begin to screen and interview potential shift leaders. The position would involve a pay-raise and would be a wrung up the managerial ladder. I'm excited, and I hope I could potentially handle the responsibility.

Outside of work, I dont have a tremendous amount of free-time which in to really do too much, I have a couple evenings a week free, Saturdays during the day, and usually Sunday completely off. So if you'd like to get together, contact me, and I'll see if we can set something up.

I've been watching a lot of movies. Both in theatres, and on DVD. I've bought a shit-ton of horror films in the last few weeks. I've been on a bit of a Hannibal Lecter kick, heh. In theatres, however, most recently I've seen "Religulous", which was hilarious, and at turns depressing, and "W." which was depressing, and at turns hilarious. I'd recommend seeing both. Religulous not so much if youre in the Bible-Belt camp. But not too many people reading this are. W was a really poignant and even-handed film, and it was fantastic. Go see them both. They're both playing at AMC, I know for a fact.

Bleh. I don't really have much to talk about seeing as not too much has happened, save that I've been working a 45 hour work week. So. I suppose I'm out.

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Man With No Arm.

Today I made a burrito for a man with no arm.

That might sound funny.

But its not.

He was such a nice man, he was really generous. He had a huge smile on his face the entire time I was making his burrito. His wife helped him with his wallet, and when they were eating, she helped him and made sure he could eat it.

I was struck with an overwhelming feeling of sadness at the fact that such a nice man was struck with something so devastating, but then I realized that though he had a disability, he also had a lot of love in his life. His wife was there for him and she loved him.

Also, he had a bitchin' burrito.

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Dreamy weather.

My body hurts.

I stay up too late, and I wake up too early. My shoes don't fit right. Work is hard.

I love rolling burritos, and the customer service interaction that goes along with it. The grill, I am not so crazy about. Scrubbing, de-greasing, scrubbing some more, de-greasing some more, then getting tasked around like crazy, not a huge fan of. But, it comes with the territory I guess, lets just hope I don't work the grill too often, at least not at night. Allow me to specify, CLOSING the grill, I do not enjoy, cooking the meat, I do. But, still. I've worked about 30 hours this week thus far. Working quite a few more tomorrow. I like work, and I like hard work. But, work is very very tiring.

I'm pretty exhausted, but I've got a good support structure, and I'm really really thankful for Maddie, someone that cares that much, pushing me and making sure I do my best.

Bleh. this blog post was more or less pointless, but tweeting at this hour is kindof inappropriate.

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tom Waits, Burritos, and Lemonade.

3:20 am.

Its usually around this time that I decide it would be a good idea to retreat to the fortress of solitude that is my room for some sortof retro entertainment and staring at the ceiling until I fall asleep, but tonight I'm keeping myself occupied with the greatest man alive.

Tom Waits.

I was unfortunately not able to secure tickets to his tour this year, which was quite terrible because I love him so much and I was pretty infuriated when the date for Dallas came and went and I was unable to go.

But NPR did something wonderful, in the nature of so many of the bootlegged Tom Waits concerts on my computer, they broadcast the final day of the American leg, and they put it online.

So I stumbled onto that tonight and have been listening to it, and its fantastic. I'm currently listening to a very charming rendition of Chocolate Jesus. So that, and lemonade are keeping me occupied at the moment. And I'm happy with that.

But in other news, that most of you are already aware of , but I recently came into employment. After a lengthy and unpleasant period of unemployment (not so much socially unpleasant, as financially unpleasant) I came to be employed by Freebirds World Burrito. It looks to be a fantastic job, and not to mention that its Freebirds, so theres fantastic burritos to look forward to. If its as much fun as it seems to be, I'll be in heaven. BURRITO HEAVEN. I feel like drastically less of a failure now that I have some form of employment. If you read my last entry you saw how miserably depressed and melodramatic I was being about the sorry ship of sorrow I'd put myself in charge of. But, new leaf, consider yourself turned over. I have a job!

Also, there was a fantastic program on FOX tonight. Fringe. It looks to be a sortof X-Files homage, but none the less, it seems to be pretty great. I'm excited for it. This, House, and the eventual wonderfull-ness that will be Dollhouse are looking to re-establish FOX as a true powerhouse in the prime-time lineup. Now if they could just get the Simpsons back on track, eh? Meh. I'm going to stop rambling and get back to my Tom Waits.

Goodnight, Internet.

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Thursday, September 4, 2008


Its officially September and it has been for a few days. For the unenlightened about my life, this officially means that I'm a grown up. High school is completely over, and the last summer of that period of my life has come and passed. Everyone is back in school, High School, University, etc. And ... I'm not.

I wasted my “gifts” (read: abilities) in high school. I feel absolutely horrible looking back at my high school career. I wasted away in laziness and boredom instead of going the extra mile to do the work that was well within my grasp to do well on. I feel like I’ve really shot myself in the foot when it comes to college. That, was a huge mistake on my part. I just kind of laugh it off and just jovially scoff about the fact that I’m “taking a semester off”, but in truth, I messed up, bad, during my junior and senior year by not registering to take a simple test like the SAT and therefore wasn’t ABLE to apply to colleges. My grades are decent enough to get into a tolerable school to do undergraduate work, but in truth, I know I should already be in college, and already working towards my goals. Not wasting away reading comic books and watching old cartoons I have on VHS. But its too late at this point to change the wrong I’ve done. I’ve just got to focus on getting what I need to get accomplished, accomplished. I do however feel that the awareness that the mistakes I made were just that, is a step forward into maturity, albeit one I really wish I had taken a while back. But, onward and forward. No use in lamenting about the past, right?

Realizing that it doesn't help to think negatively about your current situation doesn't make it any easier to stop it. I'm still hopelessly unemployed, with the one job prospect I had going for me apparently completely dashed away because I failed the god-damned screener test because I "over-thought" it. I have a great social life, but that doesn't really cut the mustard when it comes to a life, does it? I love the people around me, and what I spend my time doing, but I have a void.

I have a void in my life, with nothing to fill my days but malaise and self-loathing at a failed high school career, coupled with my failed art ambitions, and my failed, everything.

Spending all day sleeping and waiting till the high schoolers get out of class so I'll have something to do, has really gotten me in a tremendously bad funk, and I think I've begun to hate myself.

Which is horrible, because I'm fantastic.


I really need to get back out there and hit the ground running on a renewed job search, because otherwise, I'm going to lose my mind before January.

If you have any help to offer in finding a job, it's much appreciated, though I doubt much good will come from blogging about my problems at 4 in the morning.

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Friday, August 29, 2008

Absolute total freedom.

You know what I love the most about Madelaine? Besides the fact that shes beautiful, and brilliant? She totally, completely, accepts me for who I am. Now of course, The Blonde One will tell you I'm a terribly mean spirited brigand who exists solely to change people and force them away from their wonderful drug dealer friends and attempts to "change" everyone around me to suit my liking, but that's pretty far from the truth and the people who aren't retarded amongst my friends have long since realized that for what it is, rejected angsty bullshit.

In truth, I'm a loveable geeky socialist intellectual nerd.

A currently un-employed geeky, socialist, intellectual nerd, but one none-the-less.

As I spend more time with Maddie I rediscover facets of myself I've let go, or forced out of my life because of The Blonde One. I'm allowed to be friends with whoever I want, allowed to like whatever I want, and spend my time doing whatever suits my fancy. And since I am who I am, a lot of that fancy is spent online, watching cartoons, and reading comic books. And guess what, Maddie loves me for it. I'm not persecuted for liking Star Wars, or staying up all night reading blogs and Twittering away about my political views and told that it doesn't matter who take the white house, and nor does it matter who Iron Man is fighting this week. ALL OF THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

Of course in retrospect I probably should've extended some of that same brand of acceptance towards The Blonde One. But...complete and total apathy, and drugs are fucking disgusting, and politics aren't. Well. Politics are, but a different way. I don't really in retrospect feel bad about it because in truth, she and I were completely mismatched from the start, sharing a similar taste in music and liking to eat the same kindof pizza hardly make for a sturdy relationship. The kindof relationship I have with Maddie is built on a very mutual respect, and admiration of, and understanding of, if not an enjoyment of one another's passions and hobbies.

Its refreshing and wonderful. Well, Madelaine in general, is refreshing and wonderful.

Tonight for instance, sick as a dog, Madelaine and I watched Barack Obama's acceptance speech at the DNC08. And it was beautiful, the speech, and the fact that I was watching it with someone who actually understood what he was saying, and understood the political machine we were witnessing. Madelaine is a great woman, and I'm lucky to have her.

She loves me for all my geeky-bullshit. :]

For instance, right now I'm watching Revision3's "Internet Superstar", hosted by Martin Sargent.A childhood hero of mine, the man who introduced me to some truly strange and wonderful things, not to mention the dark side of the internet haha. And Digg. I'm now addicted to Digg, and Twitter, and Revision3, and fuck, Social Media. I'm completely and totally addicted to social media. I have an account on just about every web 2.0 social media service, Flickr, Digg, Delicious, Twitter, Rev3, Facebook, Myspace, Pownce, Plurk, EVERYTHING.

Also coming into a huge resurgence in my life, Star Wars. And comic books. While I was with the odious trow, I was discouraged from embracing that which is at the very core of my being, that being, a huge obsession with Comic books and Star Wars. Madelaine bought me a Chewbacca action figure. That, was the moment I knew she was the absolute, one hundred percent, perfect woman. Forgoing all other judgment and previous assessments that pointed to that, I KNEW she was perfect, when she gave me a Vinyl Star Wars action figure. I read comic books and she's not only cool with that, she embraces it, offering to go to Comic-Con with me, and so forth. Helped in no small part by her Aunt Julie who is completely obsessed with old-school comics and is a previous owner of Lone Star Comics. The nerd-dom is back. And better than ever. Haha. I've got free reign to be as geeky, and nerdy as I want, and I get to be that nerdy, with a beautiful girl at my side.

Life is perfect.

Now to get a job.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Quake and Twitter.

Its like 3:30 in the morning and I'm wasting my awareness on Twitter and the Quake soundtrack Trent Reznor produced.

This week is going to be a busy one. And yes, I can pretend week's start on Wednesday.

Wednesday will be filled with....well...something, I'm going to fill it with something. Shopping maybe?

Thursday is Madelaine's grandparents vow renewal. So I'll be her escort to that. And then that night she's staying over so that she can take my mother in to her Doctor's appointment on Friday morning. So. Yeah.

Friday will be the busiest day though, because we've got to be in Dallas by like 9am, and then I have to be at the Motorhead / Judas Priest / Heaven or Hell concert by like 5:30pm. That wouldn't in theory be difficult to do, but the way my life works, heh, I'm going to be cutting in close.

In other non-scheduling related news, my fucking laptop is dead.

By that I mean somehow its not accepting the power source from the wall, the battery works fine, but you know, you have to chaaaaarge that battery from the wall. So I'm laptop-less. I called Toshiba's tech support today, and the man on the other end (His name was "Andrew".) was surprisingly helpful and not degrading. Which is strange because you know, its tech support. So I've got a new laptop cord being shipped to me in the near future, and if its not the laptop cord, then I'm going to have to ship my actual laptop into Toshiba and have them repair the other possible cause of it, that being a potential crack in the solder connecting the DC-IN to the motherboard, and therefore causing an interruption in power flow that would render the laptop more or less useless. The scary thing is that that problem isn't an uncommon one with Toshiba Satellite laptops, which is sad, because its a helluva little computer and I love it to death.

I'm sweating like a pig. Its hotter inside than it is outside, and that pisses me off.

Not that I've managed to wrangle any readers on this blog, but I've really missed just opining about the crap thats happened during the day in an easy to archive, visually sensitive manner. For me blogging isn't really about getting my thoughts out where they're visible to the masses, its a way of chronicling my life in a way that I can look back on and be able to legibly read. Haha. And plus its nice to know that anyone cares enough to read my ramblings, even though its only a select few. I'm going to begin to crosspost a few of the posts on to my myspace blog as well, with a link at the bottom so that people can follow over to the better, more versatile big brother blog of the reeeeeeal Noblesoul.

For now though, I'm going to try and have a few good dreams before I wake up and start again.


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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Nerd night with Trent and Craig

Tonight is the beginning of a new tradition, to be referred to as The Heliophobic Collective, wherein Trent, Craig, and Myself get together on Sundays and play a variety of card games, watch a variety of geeky or nerdy films, and do a wide variety of nerdy things. Potentially this collective will grow and expand to include other members, or other activities, and we might even go so far as to maintain a website. But at the moment, the order of the evening is Magic: The Gathering.

We're going to do what is called a 'cube draft'. Which is like a mini-booster draft, but obviously a very mini version. For the purposes of that, all of our cards are being placed in a very large "cube" (Hence the name!), so my deck is going to be disassembled. As such I'm going to post its contents for my purposes, and for the supposed but not real enjoyment of my non-existent readers.

Syphon Soul x2
Ambiotic Wisps x1
Grave Pact x1
Corrosive Mentor x1
Sickle Reaper x1
Syphon Life x1
Sudden Spoiling x2
Rite of Consumption x1
Creakwood Ghoul x1

Nip Gwylion x2
Unmake x3
Batwing Brume x1
Harvest Gwylion x1
Cauldron Haze x1

Grief Tyrant x1
Emberstrike Duo x1
Sootwalkers x1

Odious Trow x2
Drain the Well x1

Knollspine Invocation x1
Rekindled Flame x1
Hotheaded Giant x1
Flame Jab x1
Smash to Smithereens x1
Wild Swing x1

Mudbrawler Raiders x1
Scuzzback Scrapper x1

Torpor Dust x1

Hoof Skulkin x2
Pili-Pala x1
Gnarled Effigy x1
Scrapbasket x1
Blazethorn Scarecrow x1
Blight Sickle x1
Chainbreaker x1


Swamp x 13
Mountain x8

Total cards : 63


I'm currently sitting in the lobby of SMG, waiting for Pineapple Express to start at 7:55pm. From what I hear its pretty good, my review to come later.

Post will continue to be edited.

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Well, here we go. This is Noblesoul. A brainchild I've been stewing for a while (You see, I stew children, so it still works as an analogy...), in which I'll do the generic blogger thing, but in a setting thats more personal than say, my Myspace blog of the same name, or postings on Twitter, and simultaneously, much more open and available for the viewing of anyone and everyone. In the current climate we live in, that being one of internet transparency where anything one posts online can and most likely will be read by the people you don't want reading the intimate details of your personal life, we have either gotten wise and stopped posting personal things like blogs (see the migration from Xanga to Myspace that occured roughly around my freshman year of highschool), or just gotten dumber, and by that I mean not realizing that this is occuring. We tend to hide our innermost thoughts from the majority of our friends, but there is something empowering about shouting your thoughts from the rooftop. Think of this blog as the screaming scene in Garden State. Or as a nudist. I'm aiming for absolute transparency. No secrets, no bullshit. If I think it, its going somewhere, and someone will see it. I'll post whatever I want here, more or less, ranging from my personal life, to body modification, to art, science, mathematics, politics, society, media, etc etc etc. I'm very aware that the blogosphere is monitored by superiors in the workplace, in the family, the household, or whatever, so I'm not going to be incredibly incendiary, but I will be honest. Everyone has a right to know who I am, and what I stand for, and the best way to do that is like I said, absolute transparency.

But first and foremost, this is a blog.

And my life. If you want to know whats going on in my world, this is the place to go. I plan to update at least M-W-F, like XKCD (ha!), but hope to post at least once a day.

Also included in the footer of every post will be my latest Tweets over the wonderful networking tool Twitter. Follow me! I'll return the favor. Also, I highly recommend that you get a Twitter account, its a nifty tool for on the go blogging, social transparency, and you can make it auto-update your facebooks status, etc etc. Long story short, get Twitter, you won't regret it.

Its 2:45 in the morning, and I think I've just about got all the kinks worked out on the blog.

My first real post will come tomorrow.

Peace, Love, Empathy.

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