Thursday, December 4, 2008

December Weather.

Its December now. I haven't written in this journal since before Halloween. Which is kindof funny seeing as I've actually WRITTEN some story outlines and stuff like that, but I havent been able to find the time to write here.

Hell, I haven't been able to find the time to do just about anything.

I work. All the time. Not even a lot of hours anymore really, just...everyday. And I'm in near constant pain while doing so. My ankle is debilitating at this point and it gets worse with each passing day. I suppose I need to go see a doctor about that in the near future, but I keep putting it off because I haven't had a single week-day off since probably September.

Everything is a bit of a blur now. Life is moving so quickly, the days are just flowing away, and there is never enough time to do anything, get anything accomplished, or do anything but work. Its about to be Christmas, and I havent bought anyone anything yet, I suppose thats okay because I've got 20 some odd days to get that accomplished, but, still. December used to feel so long, waiting and enjoying every day, moving towards Christmas, and now it just feels like Christmas is going to be just another day, albeit one I probably won't have to work.

Growing up kindof sucks. Hard.

I'm going to start looking for apartments and I intend to get one in early March, I think.

Thats going to be interesting. Bills.


Lately I've been feeling a little down. Well occasionally...VERY down. I just kindof feel like I'm squandering my supposed gifts by not doing a damned thing with them. I also feel the societal pressure to go back to school even though I don't honestly have a drop of desire to do so. I'd love to learn a bit more, but I really don't want to spend all my money going to school and then have a degree in something that I don't really love. I suppose I could do both by going to school for art, but those are the kindof degrees that are completely and utterly useless in the real world, but if you want to own a comic shop and do graphic design, I suppose those are the kindof degrees you'd need. Perhaps a rudimentary business degree? I just feel like I've let myself, and everyone around me down by not going to school. When I tell people I'm working, they just usually make "Ah" noises and then trail off and ask when I'm going to go to school. I don't know.

I just don't know what I want to do right now. Grumble.

I'm going to totter off and read some comic books, as I always do when I intend to write about my feelings or state of being.

Next time you see me, give me a big hug, eh?

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