Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Man With No Arm.

Today I made a burrito for a man with no arm.

That might sound funny.

But its not.

He was such a nice man, he was really generous. He had a huge smile on his face the entire time I was making his burrito. His wife helped him with his wallet, and when they were eating, she helped him and made sure he could eat it.

I was struck with an overwhelming feeling of sadness at the fact that such a nice man was struck with something so devastating, but then I realized that though he had a disability, he also had a lot of love in his life. His wife was there for him and she loved him.

Also, he had a bitchin' burrito.

Twitter feed: What are you doing?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Dreamy weather.

My body hurts.

I stay up too late, and I wake up too early. My shoes don't fit right. Work is hard.

I love rolling burritos, and the customer service interaction that goes along with it. The grill, I am not so crazy about. Scrubbing, de-greasing, scrubbing some more, de-greasing some more, then getting tasked around like crazy, not a huge fan of. But, it comes with the territory I guess, lets just hope I don't work the grill too often, at least not at night. Allow me to specify, CLOSING the grill, I do not enjoy, cooking the meat, I do. But, still. I've worked about 30 hours this week thus far. Working quite a few more tomorrow. I like work, and I like hard work. But, work is very very tiring.

I'm pretty exhausted, but I've got a good support structure, and I'm really really thankful for Maddie, someone that cares that much, pushing me and making sure I do my best.

Bleh. this blog post was more or less pointless, but tweeting at this hour is kindof inappropriate.

Twitter feed:
What are you doing?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tom Waits, Burritos, and Lemonade.

3:20 am.

Its usually around this time that I decide it would be a good idea to retreat to the fortress of solitude that is my room for some sortof retro entertainment and staring at the ceiling until I fall asleep, but tonight I'm keeping myself occupied with the greatest man alive.

Tom Waits.

I was unfortunately not able to secure tickets to his tour this year, which was quite terrible because I love him so much and I was pretty infuriated when the date for Dallas came and went and I was unable to go.

But NPR did something wonderful, in the nature of so many of the bootlegged Tom Waits concerts on my computer, they broadcast the final day of the American leg, and they put it online.

So I stumbled onto that tonight and have been listening to it, and its fantastic. I'm currently listening to a very charming rendition of Chocolate Jesus. So that, and lemonade are keeping me occupied at the moment. And I'm happy with that.

But in other news, that most of you are already aware of , but I recently came into employment. After a lengthy and unpleasant period of unemployment (not so much socially unpleasant, as financially unpleasant) I came to be employed by Freebirds World Burrito. It looks to be a fantastic job, and not to mention that its Freebirds, so theres fantastic burritos to look forward to. If its as much fun as it seems to be, I'll be in heaven. BURRITO HEAVEN. I feel like drastically less of a failure now that I have some form of employment. If you read my last entry you saw how miserably depressed and melodramatic I was being about the sorry ship of sorrow I'd put myself in charge of. But, new leaf, consider yourself turned over. I have a job!

Also, there was a fantastic program on FOX tonight. Fringe. It looks to be a sortof X-Files homage, but none the less, it seems to be pretty great. I'm excited for it. This, House, and the eventual wonderfull-ness that will be Dollhouse are looking to re-establish FOX as a true powerhouse in the prime-time lineup. Now if they could just get the Simpsons back on track, eh? Meh. I'm going to stop rambling and get back to my Tom Waits.

Goodnight, Internet.

Twitter feed:
What are you doing?

Thursday, September 4, 2008


Its officially September and it has been for a few days. For the unenlightened about my life, this officially means that I'm a grown up. High school is completely over, and the last summer of that period of my life has come and passed. Everyone is back in school, High School, University, etc. And ... I'm not.

I wasted my “gifts” (read: abilities) in high school. I feel absolutely horrible looking back at my high school career. I wasted away in laziness and boredom instead of going the extra mile to do the work that was well within my grasp to do well on. I feel like I’ve really shot myself in the foot when it comes to college. That, was a huge mistake on my part. I just kind of laugh it off and just jovially scoff about the fact that I’m “taking a semester off”, but in truth, I messed up, bad, during my junior and senior year by not registering to take a simple test like the SAT and therefore wasn’t ABLE to apply to colleges. My grades are decent enough to get into a tolerable school to do undergraduate work, but in truth, I know I should already be in college, and already working towards my goals. Not wasting away reading comic books and watching old cartoons I have on VHS. But its too late at this point to change the wrong I’ve done. I’ve just got to focus on getting what I need to get accomplished, accomplished. I do however feel that the awareness that the mistakes I made were just that, is a step forward into maturity, albeit one I really wish I had taken a while back. But, onward and forward. No use in lamenting about the past, right?

Realizing that it doesn't help to think negatively about your current situation doesn't make it any easier to stop it. I'm still hopelessly unemployed, with the one job prospect I had going for me apparently completely dashed away because I failed the god-damned screener test because I "over-thought" it. I have a great social life, but that doesn't really cut the mustard when it comes to a life, does it? I love the people around me, and what I spend my time doing, but I have a void.

I have a void in my life, with nothing to fill my days but malaise and self-loathing at a failed high school career, coupled with my failed art ambitions, and my failed, everything.

Spending all day sleeping and waiting till the high schoolers get out of class so I'll have something to do, has really gotten me in a tremendously bad funk, and I think I've begun to hate myself.

Which is horrible, because I'm fantastic.


I really need to get back out there and hit the ground running on a renewed job search, because otherwise, I'm going to lose my mind before January.

If you have any help to offer in finding a job, it's much appreciated, though I doubt much good will come from blogging about my problems at 4 in the morning.

Twitter feed:
What are you doing?